31 for 21: Faith

One thing that has become stronger with Quinn in my life is my faith. Yesterday in church the sermon centered on Rebekah and Isaac and what faith Rebekah had to go off to marry Isaac given only this feeling she had that she was called to do this. She entered a world of the unknown all on faith. Oh boy do I know about the unknown. Big question marks began to surround me while pregnant with Quinn. Each appointment we tried to find out some of that unknown - did she have a heart defect, stomach issues, etc? For a time they were all unknown. There are still unknown things - where will her functioning be at (I laugh internally when someone asks me that, how the heck am I supposed to know), will she develop some scary health problems that children with DS have a higher risk of, and just what will be the outcome of her appointment next week with the neurologist? But I can't dwell there. I have to have faith that things will be how they are meant to be. I am blessed to have what I have. I only take things one step at a time - love the fact that Quinn is in my life - and sit there in each sermon feeling the words right in my heart.

Just a few days ago there was a mother on my online forum (downsyn) who said that her beautiful baby daughter passed away after heart surgery. She had a prenatal diagnosis as I did, but at the same time she found out that her daughter had significant heart problems. She continued her pregnancy, gave birth to her beautiful daughter, loved her, and then faced this heart surgery only to have the most horrible outcome. My own heart breaks because of this. If this isn't faith what possibly could it be? On one hand I can't imagine going through this, but on the other I can. A fine line separates us - for it could have easily been me. Sorry, but to me Rebekah's leap of faith is nothing in comparison to this mother's.

Here is a clip of a little guy with DS (age 5) reading scripture in church.



-Karyn