We are to go back to the hospital today. Quinn still has a little cold, so I am not sure what is going to happen. She is significantly better than last week though. I am just tired. This is all very draining. What if this one gets called off and then we have to go back for a third try? I don't even want to think about that possibility, but it keeps coming into my head. I guess if we move ahead with this, Quinn will get her shot at 8pm tonight. Please pray for her.
Yesterday I took some time to myself to go scrapbooking. It was something I needed - to just focus on Quinny's photos and take some time off. Two things happened though - there was this speaker during the scrapbooking event on the Make-A-Wish Foundation (they have product from Make-A-Wish for donations that the scrapbooking place is trying to sell). I heard a mother's story of her child having cancer - she spoke of the fear, the hospital, how their life was disrupted. Although I am not experiencing that exactly, I think I was the closest person in the room to knowing how this may go. I kept thinking about that and fighting back tears. And then later I heard two tables down laughing and laughing. Someone asked them what they were laughing at - and they said oh some special education student they know. Great. Then one lady is working on something and not getting it and said, oh I am like the special ed student and laughs. Double great. I believe these people are teachers. Triple great. Why does this crap have to happen? Here I am looking at photos of my beautiful little girl and these people have to say crap like that. Will that ever end? Probably not. At least I recognize the insensitivity of that now. Probably before Quinn I would have been annoyed by comments like that, but would not really know how that can truly hurt.
I just hope today goes well. I found this video this morning. I have to tell myself to find the meaning in this experience - that is pretty much the message of this video too.
19 hours ago