31 for 21: I'm Down with Quinn

I was looking at Quinn last night and thinking maybe she isn't doing so bad with this IS thing. What is the big hub-bub? She was smiling, playing, moving around. And then there was another head drop. I haven't noticed it over time, but they are happening more and more. You used to be able to go a while before you would see them and I think I saw two within 10 minutes of one another last night. I so want to chicken out on this and just be in denial, but I can't. I won't. Monday will come and big decisions will be made. All for Quinn.

Last night Neal was talking about what he got on Quinn's birthday cake. He said he was thinking Elmo, but went with a rainbow. He then said that he got a rainbow because seeing a rainbow is a gift from God and Quinn is also a gift from God. So true. We just sat there a moment. No tears. Just there together, on the same page with the reality of that statement. Despite all the tears I have cried because of the dx of DS and now IS, Quinn is a gift from God. The tears and the worry and the pain from things going a different direction than I wanted or intended, makes her even more of a gift. She is the best daughter I could ever have and the thing is that I stupidly thought I wanted something else in my life. I guess I was shown the truth.

Quinn's birthday party is today. This one will always be etched in my mind. She had a birthday party right in the midst of all this drama. She will get her hair done in the morning and I think I will dress her up because this girl deserves to celebrate and will be beautiful doing it. She deserves nothing but the best.

Please watch this clip of a documentary which will be coming out. It is called I'm Down with You and is about a photography project. Such a beautiful message and beautiful photos. I am down with you, Quinn. Forever and always.



-Karyn