Accepting Both the Good and the Bad

I have been blessed. Before Quinn I lived what might have seemed to others as the perfect life in a lot of respects. But I was missing so much - so so much. Of course, my beautiful daughter Quinn - but also much more too - also my faith. I was a Christian, but didn't in my heart understand how things work. I was going through the motions. It is kind of easy to say you believe in God when nothing that bad happens to you. Now I have been tested and I see that part of what God does (if you are lucky) is He gives you both good and bad things in your life. Even what we perceive as being the worst thing possible could ultimately be something that teaches us, makes us better, stronger, and brings us closer to God. I was blessed with this experience on so many levels. Now when I sit in church I totally understand the sermon - I feel it in my heart. I really do believe that unless you experience something that radically alters your world, you don't quite deep down at that emotional level understand what it is all about. This doesn't mean that I am not still coping with things and won't have difficult moments (and the Why Me questions), but for now I am basking in the glory of this side-effect of having a child with a disability.