In the race of life, things are slowly moving along in terms of Quinn's treatment. Another week of ACTH is almost done. Quinn still isn't very active, but the seizures do seem to be gone. Or at least I haven't seen any lately. Her day consists of crying, sitting, being held, and eating. Not much excitement going on. Very very rarely she picks up a toy and plays. Otherwise it is like focusing on time ticking on a clock. Tick, tick, tick....
Those on the flip side of us - those with typical two-year-old have new things that happen every day. They have talking, yelling, running, playing, laughing - the list goes on and on. Things move so fast. But that isn't our world. At least not this time. We had that twice before, but now we are in a different place. And strangely enough to those on the other side, we value what we have even if the experience isn't so faced-paced and flashy. I really value it this time around. The last two times with the boys I really didn't know the beauty of what I had. But oh boy, now I do. This side of the experience is a deeper and richer experience that only those who have walked in our shoes ever really truly know. I can try to explain it, but those who have been there know it in their heart in a way that words will never explain.
I just feel that if I didn't have Quinn I would be so superficial in terms of how I see life. I just think there would be so much that I just would not get. I cried my tears with the DS diagnosis and then I had to pick myself up and keep going on with life. Then I cried my tears with the IS diagnosis and now I am picking myself up yet again. Who knows what the future holds. You are not entitled to anything in this world. And yet so much is taken for granted.
So our life now is not fast-paced and flashy. We are on the slow and steady side. But that is actually a blessing. Today I am at peace with things. Tomorrow there may be another storm, so I need to enjoy the slow and steady right now.
By the way, I found this story which also shows this idea...happy tears...
4 days ago