Friday, March 12, 2010


Delays are everywhere. I delay when I am going to blog. Before you know it, it has been a month. I delay taking time to relax. Before you know it, my back and neck are all tight and knotted up. My life has become a serious of putting things off while I juggle a multitude of tasks. Delays are sprinkled everywhere.

And on top of it, every day I ironically notice more delays with my baby girl.

This is not meant to be a depressing blog entry. I love Quinn more than anything and I appreciate her accomplishments and having her in my life, but I just can't help but to notice how far behind she is to her peers with DS. Life is not meant to be a race, so this idea of "far behind" is a ridiculous one, I know that, but I still see it. It just comes and strikes me out of nowhere.

I guess I was hoping for something more after the ACTH was done. I guess I was deep down hoping for leaps and bounds, but there was a spurt and then another plateau. I am thankful for what I have, but I just have been thinking about this. It is hard to explain, I am not depressed, but aware. What is, just is.

My mind has been going to that there must be something more. I am just going to come out and say this. There must be something additional to DS and IS. My mind is now going to PDD. I am numb to this as well. If it is, it is. I am not going to seek out dx in this area yet, I am just going to watch it, but let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if someone working with Quinn mentions this soon. Last night the only interaction I had with Quinn was the frownie face. It is an adorable little face she makes when she is about to get upset. So so cute. Riley and I laugh and smile. I thank God for the frownie face, but a person would like to see more when they come home and spend time with their child. But this is just beyond my control. I just have to accept if the frownie face is given to me, at least it is something and it is Quinn so it is love.

I am learning to let things go. Just take what you have. If there is a delay, just accept it. Not much you can do about it anyway. I am sure there will be other feelings that I have about this on different days, but for right now, I am just feeling this...



  1. Karyn, I am so sorry you and Quinn are going through all of this. As if the DS wasn't enough. My heart goes out to you both, and the rest of your family. Keep on loving her, as I know you will! Take care,

  2. I find that when I give Summer Omega3 oil (by Nordic Naturals) on a daily basis, she is very different (interactive) than when I don't (like in a haze). If your ped says it's ok, you may want to try it. I also use Nutrivene with her but only half the recommended dose. I think it helps too (I blogged about it a while back) but there is no proof, so who knows.