Monday, April 13, 2009

Flo & Kay


Last night I watched a documentary on TLC called Flo and Kay: Twin Savants. I am kind of drawn to such programming given the combination of my love of documentaries and now my love about learning about disabilities. Flo and Kay Lyman are identical twins who are autistic and have special savant abilities (i.e., able to calculate the day of week for any date; memory of artists of songs from the 1960s-1980s; tell you the weather on any date; and memory for details related to their obsession Dick Clark). Flo and Kay’s abilities are very rare – it is estimated that this would occur in only 10% of those with autism. The part of the documentary that I was drawn to was their family and how they related with Flo and Kay. Flo and Kay’s mother had great difficulty accepting her daughters. The girls were born in 1956, so this was a time of isolation and silence about having a child with special needs. In addition, Flo and Kay’s mother also had some mental health difficulties of her own. Shockingly, at one point she even tried to commit suicide and end the twin’s lives by having all three of them put their head in the oven. This was stopped by Flo and Kay’s younger sister, Jane, who eventually became their caregiver. Flo and Kay’s father coped through withdrawing and isolation from the family. He kept his distance. After their parent’s death, Jane and her family gave Flo and Kay a great life for many years – and Flo and Kay just loved living with them in Florida. But then tragedy struck, and Jane died suddenly from a heart attack. Jane’s husband contacted Flo and Kay’s brother in New Jersey to take them, as he believed that they should be with their family. This brother and his wife were not very thrilled about having Flo and Kay live with them. Actually while I was watching this it was more my perception that it was the sister-in-law of Flo and Kay who was the most upset about them living there. This really emphasized what a beautiful, giving person Jane was. I really hope my boys are like this. I did begin to think about how there is something I can’t control – the reaction of who my boys choose to spend their lives with – how will they see Quinn. I really hope, however, that through teaching my boys about the importance of respecting and loving those with disabilities that they will only choose to be with someone who would also do the same thing.

If you are interested in this documentary, you can watch a clip here.

5 comments:

  1. You have a beautiful family, Quinn is especially gorgeous. What a face :o) Your kids are very lucky to have you as a parent. I was not so lucky; but that is for another time.

    I have seen the documentary about Flo and Kay and I wish them all the best. They are true survivors and fighters! Bless them.

    I always wanted to open a safe house for abuse survivors and their children. I wish this world was a safer place for ALL! PEACE!!!!!!!!!

    Warmly,
    Becky

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  2. I loved the documentary and am really intrigued and fascinated by them. My heart broke when Jane passed away. I agree she was an extraordinary person. Dave Wagner and Dick Clark also impressed me alot in their love for the twins.

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  3. My Heartfelt Sympathy to Flo and Kay after the passing of Dick Clark. I truely hope they do ok after this devastating news for the both of them, and the World. Chin up girls, Dick would want you to thrive despite his passing.

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  4. Your daughter is absolutely adorable. She's lucky to have a mom so dedicated to her well-being and a great future. All the best to you and your lovely family!

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  5. My brother, Jimmy, was born with mental and physical challenges in 1953. I was only two so I don't remember a time whiteout him. We were best playmates and as we got older I took him with me up and down the block. He had a heart condition so sometimes he would get overly excited and found it hard to breathe. I was never afraid but knew what he needed. Decades later my mother ran into one of our old neighbors who said that one of or little friends remembered how normal we were about Jimmy and grew up to be a psychologist helping parents to cope with their disabled child.

    Jimmy passed 13 days before his 27th birthday. My sons were 7 and 9, in their late 40's today, but they still remember watching tv, playing hide and seek, and all the excitement of the holidays with their Uncle Jimmy. When they asked me why people stated at Jimmy I told my sons that many just didn't know any better but they should always treat everyone with kindness. That led to us opening our home to several foster kids some years later.

    We all entertain angels unaware but they touch and change so many lives! The same is happening in your home right now.

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